I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize