and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
