She's JV to your varsity
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
