i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
