Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I checked into jail on foursquare
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize