btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
3 2 1 whiskey
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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