There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
