so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
