how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
