Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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