Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
