Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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