My friends, they love my intelligence
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
