Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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