summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Every concussion has its silver lining
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
