At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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