She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
