Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

I'm drive I can fine osifer

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(908): View more from New Jersey

i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you

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(407): View more from Florida

this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.

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(416): View more from Ontario

He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out

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(647): View more from Ontario

Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville

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(310): View more from California

My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.

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(256): View more from Alabama

You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.

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(757): View more from Virginia

This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating

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