is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
