And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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