This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize