Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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