it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i drank out of a bidet.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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