Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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