At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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