that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
