i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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