She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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