I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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