So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
