The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
