Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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