The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
