I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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