i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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