Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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