Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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