How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Its about making memories worth repressing
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
