I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize