Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
There's even glitter on my cock...
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