who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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