***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
