She just used a chaser for red wine.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
