Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
