i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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