It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
