but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
