I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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