everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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