Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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