Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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