That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
