I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
