C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
