He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
