Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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