are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
