you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Do vagina's smell?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The feeling are messing with the penis
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
