Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
