he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
