erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
