So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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